Monday, June 25, 2007

Fear and Loathing* of Death

someone once asked me, or it was perhaps a question I answered while I filled up the extremely annoying, bordering on narcissism "about me" sections on a networking website - "How do you want to die?" And I answered, "like I care, I would be dead anyway."

I have been thinking about death a lot lately. No, not in an I-am-depressed-and-I-want-to-slash-my-wrist-jump-off-a-cliff way (ah well, that is material for yet another post), but what-is-it-about-death-that everyone-is-so-afraid-about way. Introspection is perhaps the key to evolving as an adult, and graduate school combined with a windowless basement office gives ample opportunities to brooding and moping. So what is it about death that scares people? Is it losing what we have? It is stepping into an unknown that is beyond human comprehension? Is it that nothing is known about death or (for lack of a better term) life beyond it? I have started believing that for people like me (hopefully there aren't many out there), its the latter.

It's not like life is anything great. Think about the unpaid bills, the frustrating days and nights, the never ceasing attempts to be someone great (just how many Gandhis and Einsteins can there ever be) and the painful realization that maybe, just maybe, God (or the evolutionary process for the aethiests and non-believers like me) did not program the greatness gene in us, the ever burning desire to be "in love" and the aching pain when "love" turns out to be nothing more than just a mechanical desire to procreate, or the hatred and prejudices we all are born with or are socialized into - hatred that makes people, well, less than human and just a tad little bit crazy.

And now think about death - no annoying reminders to pay bills, no racing to be the best, no frustrating relationships, no love, no hate, no desires, no unpleasant run ins with bosses wanting you to finish that little project, which no one cares about in the first place, no early mornings, no late nights, no worries about how we will die, how painful will it be? will people miss us? - none of it - just plain death - bliss maybe, maybe not.

Do i care? Nope. And as one of my favorite scientist, Einstein, said "The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."

* Adapted from Hunter S. Thompson's book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

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